Reality in the Unreal

God wants our hearts, our souls, our entire being. I think anyone professing to be Christian would probably say that. So why is it that fairy tales make me feel closer to God and His love than the Bible? I think many Christians would say that the Bible should make us feel close to God--in fact, many of them think it's pretty much the only way we can hear from God. So why isn't it working?

For one thing, I think I have become desensitized to parts of the Bible at least. I have grown up in religion and it does not touch me the same way it does a new believer. Perhaps this is bad, perhaps not, but it is what it is.

Maybe it's because I still see the Bible through the legalistic-conservative lens that it was taught me through all those years ago. Perhaps I need to find a way to look at the Bible as differently as I am learning to look at God. I have been told time and again that the Bible is "God's love story to us" but it doesn't seem like there is a lot of love in the first two-thirds of it. And the way the last portion of the Bible has been interpreted makes it, for all practical purposes, a divinely huge to-do list. The Bible seems rarely to feel personal the way I want my relationship with God to feel personal.

Don't get me wrong, I certainly don't want to get rid of the Bible or demean its significance for Christianity, but is it really the primary means for us to be close to God?

There is something about fairytales, romance, and even good music that makes me feel romanced by God in a more personal one-on-one kind of way. I want to know that God died for me (as selfish as that may sound). I want to know that He loves me for me, he wants me, he sees me as beautiful, lovely, wonderful, captivating.

But I certainly don't think that this is the best or only way to feel close to God. I think that often it is best to just be with God, quiet and listening, feeling Him close to me. I think that often books, movies, and music create unnecessary noise that distracts us from God. And I think often that can even be true of worship music and even the Bible. As wonderful as it is, I think that reading the Bible often focuses one's mind on what one should be doing instead of one just being with God.

Besides, reading too much romance can get one focused on romance for romance's sake instead of focusing on how much romance one already has access to in the person of and relationship with Jesus. It is certainly dangerous to try to fill one's self up with romance, because that is rejecting God's fulfillment and searching for self-fulfillment. My point is not to advocate reading romance, but merely to point out the many ways to feel God's love in one's life other than reading the Bible.

I think that fairy tales have only helped me feel closer to God when I consciously chose to use them that way. For example, when I choose to place myself in the story with God, when I realize that He loves me and rescues me just like the hero in the story, when He sees me as being that beautiful and worth saving and loving, that makes me feel a lot closer to God than reading the Bible and thinking "Great, God thinks I am a wicked sinner who needs to shape up so He can tolerate me."

But really, I am just searching for intimacy with God, just like everyone else (even if they don't realize that is what they are looking for yet). I feel the same emptiness inside of my soul and I am searching for love and fulfillment. And I'm starting to find real, lasting fulfillment in the person of and the personal relationship with Jesus. And every day I find I want more and more of Him, more and more dependence on Him.