My Matrix

I love video games. I really do (even if my life prevents me from playing them much)! But I do try to preserve the distinct barrier between fantasy and reality. Only recently I realized I don't! Because this world, this economy, this way of living and being, it is all it's own version of non-reality (or at least temporary reality). It's all as real as the economy of an online game, the standard of living of a fantasy character, or accumulating virtual stuff; sure it's fun and sometimes it can feel like it is the whole world, but deep inside most of us are completely aware of how unreal it all is. Going to college, getting a degree, a career, a house, a car, stuff, fame, fortune, it's all unreal. You can't take a degree with you after you die--it won't make a jot of difference then; just like increasing your ranking on an online game means almost nothing outside of that world. Getting a job, establishing a successful career, making good money-- those things can't be brought with you after death either; just like spending all of your time getting millions of gold and possessions on an online game is all an illusion--numbers on a screen that could disappear with the network (or if your character gets deleted). Living well, eating well, becoming known and famous, none of it lasts pass this life; and no video game accomplishments mean anything outside of the small world of whatever that particular game is. It's fun, it's addicting, and i's all a lie meant to get us addicted to the game and distracted from reality--a most brilliant way of immobilizing us. A most clever tactic.  Which leaves me with the question, "What is real and will last?" We probably all come up with different answers to this, but most answers fall into a couple of categories: either we believe nothing will last and so we must get what we can out of this life, or we believe in some kind of "spiritual afterlife" which means "spiritual stuff" will last, or nothing will last, really. So most of us pursue the temporary reality of this world, since there doesn't seem to be much else worth pursuing. Why not have fun now, especially if now is all there is? A few of us pursue the "spiritual stuff" trying to figure out which things will last or get us favor with "the God" or "gods" or whatever is responsible for taking care of us after this life. Some of us get so sick of this question we just live life as full as we can and quit worrying about this question.  Me, I believe there is something we can have now, even inside of our temporary games, that will last: relationship. Love, relationship, that is what will still be here when our fallen, broken games have ended. When our schools, degrees, careers, houses, cars, accomplishments, possessions, fame, and even religions have all been revealed for the lies they are we will still see the shining truth of relationship. That is what will last and so that is what I want to live for. Not living for the materialistic, consumerist achievements of this world, nor living just to achieve some kind of spiritual pass-card to the next life, but living for relationship that will last this life and the next. I believe that this relationship is largely about relationship with The God, Jesus, Yhwh, the only God who wants to have relationship with us. But what makes it even better is that this God that I believe in, this God I share relationship with wants me to develop forever-relationships with people; not relationships for me to coerce you into belief, as if by marking you down as one of my spiritual converts I gain God-points for the afterlife. No, for this God I know loves me so completely, so entirely, as to make loving me more impossible! Think about that! Now if this God loves me that much then that frees me to love others without an ulterior motive of converting, changing, or fixing them (and that is some freedom, a freedom I wish I could live in more!).  Living for relationship is hard for me to practically implement in my daily life; obviously sometimes it means you enter the game, go to school, get a degree and a career, make money, allow God to bless us with material possessions (always blessed to be a blessing, though), and even get involved with some religions to love and be in relationship with the religious as well. But the moment we are playing this game for a reason other than relationship (and relationship does allow you to have fun sometimes!), we find ourselves again enslaved and deceived.  Would that I could live in my own truth.